Happy Happy Bithday Mom :)

Happy Birthday Mommy. One more year and you’ll get the discount card you’ve wanted heehee :D  

I know we’ve had our differences; our mother-daughter relationship isn’t perfect and we’ve had gone through a lot. And I know there were those times that you were so mad at me because I was too stubborn. I know there were times you think I don’t appreciate the things you’ve done for me. And that I wasn’t sorry for all the heartache I’ve caused you. But I am. I am very much thankful for all those things that you’ve done not only for me but for Angela as well.  And I deeply regret some of the wrong decisions that I have made.   I am very sorry for all the heartache and disappointments that I have caused you.  I just can’t seem to say those words in person. Maybe because I feel that there aren’t enough. But don’t every think I am not sorry.

With all of the things that had happened this past few years. I was asking myself, if those didn’t happen would our relationship be any different? Would we be any closer to each other? Or would the distance remain the same. Because right now, I can feel that we are closer. I can still remember the first time I’ve heard you said the words “I love you” to me, that was May 18, 2009. It was mother’s day and I was so broken hearted that day and you called from Singapore to find out how I was doing. I was so happy that day even if my heart was broken into pieces. But then I did something you didn’t approve of. And our relationship was more strained than ever. I know I have to wait for you to forgive me again. It took time. I can’t say I blame you. Then once again I got heartbroken and once again you were there for me. Though our relationship is still strained, but little by little it was getting better.  And despite all the trouble and heartache I have given you, you never stop giving.  And when you had to go to Angola to be with daddy, that’s when our relationship has gotten better.  Little by little. That’s when we started saying “I love you” to each other. And when you got back from Angola, that when I felt the closeness. Though I know we still have a lot to work on. And our new closeness is still fragile. But I am very hopeful that in time we will have the mother-daughter relationship that I have always dreamed of.

I used to envy my friends because of the closeness that they have with their mothers because we were never that close. 

I know someday we would get there.

And you’ve always asked us, your children who will do the same thing that you have done for Lola. Like bring her to the mall every Sunday. I would do that for you, Mom. I would bring you to the mall each Sunday and even change your diaper and give you a bath. ^_^

I may not show it, but I love you Mom, I am Blessed to you have you for a mother. Thank you for everything.