I’m once again having mixed emotions. I thought I was way over him. But how come I am affected of what’s happening. I don’t understand any of these. He’s making it like I’ve done something grave. I though it women who are hard to understand? So how come I can’t understand him. I don’t know what he is after. Saving his ego perchance? Making himself look good? I really don’t know. He turned me down, no naturally I tried to move on, tried overcoming my feeling for him. But that’s not how he sees it. Since I am being honest with myself, yes I am so hurt, I am so affected with what’s going on right now.
I don’t understand why some people would make the other person look bad just so they can look good. I didn’t do anything to deserve to be portrayed as a psycho or an obsessed woman. Yes I ranted and raved on my wall, but it’s my wall, I can do whatever I want to do with it, post anything I want to post. I did it because I didn’t know how to express my feelings, I was so badly hurt that time. I felt like I was used. Everything was happening so fast. We used to talk everyday, every single day. You always let me know of your plans even without me asking you. As soon as you come home from work you go online and message me. Even when you’re at work you would take time to say hi. Not only that, even when you didn’t have access to Facebook or gtalk because you were out of town, you would take the time to say hi. But then all of the sudden you stopped. And your excuse was, you were so busy. But I know that there is more to that. I can feel it, there is something going that you were not telling me. Yes, I know we don’t have a relationship. I would be a hypocrite to say if I wasn’t hoping. But I understand your situation as well, that is why I wasn’t pressuring you or even bringing up the situation that we were in.
What’s left for me after that? Nothing except try to move on. I tried to enjoy my time with friends. I try not to think too much that you rejected me. I try to find joy in every little thing around me. Even corny jokes on Facebook and twitter. And not all of those are about you. Yes I admit some of them are about my feelings for you. But most of them are for my friends, and whatever they are going through at the moment.
Don’t take it against me when I didn’t respond to your messages like I would normally do. It was because I was trying to distance myself from you. I didn’t want to fall further. It took a lot of thinking on my end when I sent you that message to say that I almost fell for you. Actually that aint true, I already fell for you.
I don’t normally do that, tell the person how I feel. But I had to do it as its eating me up. I don’t want to keep on wondering. With that, admitting to you how I felt, it helped me a lot, it had somehow set me free. I no longer had to wonder where I stood. You flat out told me that we could never be. I accepted that. And moved on, I just charge it to experience.
I thought after that everything would be better. But it didn’t, you just confused me more…. When will this end? Its like we have a silent battle between us…
Sigh…
Maybe someday… I don’t know…. Anything can happen… I wish you well…
I don’t understand why some people would make the other person look bad just so they can look good. I didn’t do anything to deserve to be portrayed as a psycho or an obsessed woman. Yes I ranted and raved on my wall, but it’s my wall, I can do whatever I want to do with it, post anything I want to post. I did it because I didn’t know how to express my feelings, I was so badly hurt that time. I felt like I was used. Everything was happening so fast. We used to talk everyday, every single day. You always let me know of your plans even without me asking you. As soon as you come home from work you go online and message me. Even when you’re at work you would take time to say hi. Not only that, even when you didn’t have access to Facebook or gtalk because you were out of town, you would take the time to say hi. But then all of the sudden you stopped. And your excuse was, you were so busy. But I know that there is more to that. I can feel it, there is something going that you were not telling me. Yes, I know we don’t have a relationship. I would be a hypocrite to say if I wasn’t hoping. But I understand your situation as well, that is why I wasn’t pressuring you or even bringing up the situation that we were in.
What’s left for me after that? Nothing except try to move on. I tried to enjoy my time with friends. I try not to think too much that you rejected me. I try to find joy in every little thing around me. Even corny jokes on Facebook and twitter. And not all of those are about you. Yes I admit some of them are about my feelings for you. But most of them are for my friends, and whatever they are going through at the moment.
Don’t take it against me when I didn’t respond to your messages like I would normally do. It was because I was trying to distance myself from you. I didn’t want to fall further. It took a lot of thinking on my end when I sent you that message to say that I almost fell for you. Actually that aint true, I already fell for you.
I don’t normally do that, tell the person how I feel. But I had to do it as its eating me up. I don’t want to keep on wondering. With that, admitting to you how I felt, it helped me a lot, it had somehow set me free. I no longer had to wonder where I stood. You flat out told me that we could never be. I accepted that. And moved on, I just charge it to experience.
I thought after that everything would be better. But it didn’t, you just confused me more…. When will this end? Its like we have a silent battle between us…
Sigh…
Maybe someday… I don’t know…. Anything can happen… I wish you well…
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