Being thankful and Re-Gaining Oneself

As each day passes by it makes me wonder and realized how truly BLESSED I am with the friends like I have. They keep me grounded and they’re the ones that keep me sane in this chaotic world of mine. But that doesn’t mean they won’t hesitate to remind or stop me from doing things I might later regret. 


They have always helped me see reasons, reason that I wasn’t able to see because my judgment is clouded by anger, pain and sometimes frustration about certain situations. 


People often wondered where I get my strength. My ability to bounce back from every tumble I take. And how can I remain calm even if my world is crushing down and everything seems to be falling apart. Or where do I get my confidence to face every challenges that I meet. The way other people or even friends sees me is that nothing seems to faze me. 


Well I do have insecurities and doubts like the next person, but it’s not in my nature to let people know about it. I tend to keep it to myself, I don’t see the need for others to know. Letting people know about it is like baring my soul, you’re left naked and vulnerable.


And yes, I am confident about myself. I know I can accomplish a lot if I put my mind into it but the real reason I have all these confidence in me is because I know God is always there. He has never left my side and to help me out he sent me these people around me, some of them I have known all my life, these are my FRIENDS and my FAMILY. They are the Blessings that God has given me.

Right now everything seems to be falling into place. I’m finding out reasons behind all those mistakes I have made in the past. Though I don’t regret any of them, but I can proudly say I will be not this version of ME if not for those experiences. Yes, I have made a lot of mistakes in the past. But each and every one of those mistakes I have learned, not just in what to avoid but the most important is with each and every mistakes I've made I have uncovered something about myself as well. 


I know myself better, and it was a long process for me. Were they it worth it? Going through all those pains, frustration, anger, sorrow, bitterness and betrayal, I can honestly say, yes they are. Though at that time, I wasn’t sure. I would be a hypocrite if I said I never felt like giving up, I mean come on I’m only human. There would be times I feel like giving up, but in the end I was able to overcome that particular emotion and maintain some level of sanity.


I became aware that when reality bites you in the ass it doesn't just take a nip at you, but rather it takes a big chunk...and suddenly understanding hit you hard...so hard it leaves you gasping and you have no other choice but to stop for you to be able to catch your breath...but when the ripples are no more...when everything is still….it make you see things clearly...so clear that it leaves no room for doubt...


From there you pick up the pieces…and you make progress…You now have NOT only a better understanding of yourself, but as well as what you must do… and more importantly you have regained YOU!